Friday, February 18, 2011

2

元宵,是交心結緣的日子。趁元宵還有個多小時,我想將這一天,留給我最好的兩個朋友。

LW:

我們的結識,不算是一見如故,「求其就手」就真,因為你就坐在我的正隔壁。不記得為何會熟絡起來,應該都是由講一些衰衰格格的東西開始吧,因為我們其實都沒有外表看來那麼斯文。然後就變成講私事,發覺大家想法相近,後來我才發現,這份相近的性情,在功利社會中是如何的難能可貴(或是如何的x居),有如寄居地球的兩個外星人。

我們在最好的時機認識,如果認識早十年的你,或者你認識早十年的我,我們未必會做得成這麼好的朋友,因為我們根本不跟人交朋友;遲十年呢,經歷和圈子不同了,又不一定可以湊在一塊。另一個原因,我想是因為你早年交朋友的底線,比V領毛衣還低,很會遷就怪人,所以我一直覺得跟你蠻合得來,也許只是一廂情願。XP

小時候看電視節目,主角總有一些有理無理為他/她抱打不平的朋友,很Sex and the City的那種,我很嚮往。我覺得你就像是那類朋友(尤其是你上升星座開始進入白羊之後),不是盲目的支持,但你總是讓我聽得舒服,又有所反思,大概就是拿捏到那個平衡點吧。都說了你是怪人的磁石。

關於你,說得差不多了,再講怕有人要殺你(或者殺埋我)。

AA:

這是我一直以來給你的簡稱,你知道為什麼嗎?因為我不想手機目錄裡有任何人,排在你的前面。

起初,我沒有想太多,交朋結友,我只憑感覺(或者直覺),從來不想太多。我們出奇地投契,頭兩年好像沒吵過一場架。到現在仍然覺得,如果世上有另一個我,那個人就是你,不是因為我們一模一樣,而是我們剛好不在意對方的不同,欣然接受。我主修新聞傳播,但書不知讀到哪裡去,愈老愈覺得難跟人溝通,或者說,要花很多力氣小心奕奕,也都可能會被誤會。只有面對你,可以不費吹灰力,不會貼那麼多標籤在我身上,怪我說話黑心,殘酷,或者說我冒犯,因為你相信,聲大的狗不會咬人。你在身心也給我很大的自由,也是我要感激的,雖然你講明了這並非你所願。

其實我心底一直有個恐懼,覺得自己不會那麼好命,一直有這樣投契的人陪在身邊。最近你毛病比較多,這個念頭又會在我腦中浮現。無論如何,我們總算度過了很美好的幾年,這是已經入了戶口,不會獲利回吐。

最後,希望我比你們先死--你們一起記掛我,總好過我一個記掛你們兩人。

5 comments:

茱利亞 said...

touching, just like love letter.

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